Bloody World of Warcraft !

What’s the point of me getting a free 10-day trial of WoW if they’re going to take the servers down for 12 hours ? Guess I’ll just have to play Party Poker at work instead then.

My quests so far have been to kill all the snivelling little Kobold things. That and read a letter. I can’t get training from anyone until I’ve reached level 5 and now a blacksmith has stolen all my copper to repair my stick that I was using to kill all the snivelling little Kobold things.

I went for my first quest, the soldier said: Kill the Kobolds
I did that and went back. He said: Kill more Kobolds.

Hang on a minute ! Couldn’t you have told me that when I first went out ? Then I wouldn’t have had to make two trips.

So I did that and he gave me a pair of boots that I didn’t have space in my bag for because I’d filled it with melted candles that I’d picked up from all the Kobolds.

I’m a Mage.
I’m in a realm beginning with K ( Korathzi ? ) but I think I’m just naming Klingons at random

It’s supposedly a very big place. Northshire Abbey, Goldshire, Faerdoon Mine, some other places I can’t spell either. I wasn’t really paying attention when they taught Middle Earth at school.

All I know is that I’m asleep in the middle of nowhere with a newly repaired stick that cost me 98 pieces of copper and the coyotes kill me every time I go off the path, I got chased by a bear that wouldn’t die, my corpse is always the furthest away from the graveyard they put me in.

I can’t afford anything the vendors sell. I have more melted candles than I know what to do with.

For most of the things in my inventory, I don’t have the right proficiency level. Why do I need to be at a proficiency level to wear a ragged cloak ?

It takes me weeks to run between towns. I tried jumping but that didn’t help.

I’ve run out of apples and water. I have some yellow cheese stuff. Not sure what that does but I have to sit down with it.

I’ve been reliably informed by Dug ( who I’ve just pestered with my tales of woe ) that I can sell my melted candles. However, I’ll have to kill some Kobolds now that I worked out how to delete things from my inventory and don’t have the melted candles anymore.

He told me that I’d get better at killing things. Interesting. How do I do that if I broke my stick on a bear ?

I have a fireball spell that takes days to recharge while, in between, the Kobold is beating the brown stuff out of me.

Sigh. Whatever happened to “You are in a forest. There are paths to the N, S and E. What do you want to do ?”

The annoying thing is that I can see myself paying $14.99 a month for this.